(post)Tuesday Toffee #22: cycles

When we get used to a certain physical state or situation which causes pain and stress, and we are not even aware of it, as we don’t have the consciousness to distinguish between before and after, this becomes the new “normal”, the best possible way of being.

Imagine, that you had a grave accident as a child, like hitting your head, almost breaking a bone of the skull, or any other similar thing at any body part. Only that the head is a slightly more sensitive.

It happened to me when I was almost 9 years old: we were at a school excursion week, and while sleeping through the first night, I fell from the upper part of a bunk bed which didn’t have protection to stop from falling. My frontal bone almost broke, I had a concussion of the brain, and my skin had to be sewed by 8 or 10 stitches.
And, as I wanted to stay in the camps with my classmates, and didn’t want to go home, my mom let me stay – doing as most kids did: I went to excursions and played, and didn’t stay in bed, as it would have been recommended. Well, I compassionately understand my little self: it was only a few months after my father moved out.

Unless our whole being – body-mental-emotional unity – is taken care of on a non-invasive manner that allows our system to let go submerging emotions, to offer space and secured accompaniment that it could get rid of the waves of the trauma while this healing, conscious, compassionate and accepting presence is maintained as long as needed, we’re going to live with this weight. A weight, which literary deforms our body and our life.

I think it happened in the autumn of 1989. That time in Hungary my parents hardly knew anything about osteopathy or similar things. Before late autumn it wasn’t even clear that communism may disappear.

The body is biologically programmed to survive: therefore, whatever it had lost, it would do its best to go on without that thing/balance. Until it can. It may cause different deformations and raise the stress level in other body parts which are seemingly far-far away from the zone of accident, but it’s not true: all the body parts are interconnected, especially from the view of the balance.

For example, the sphenoid bone in the skull, will always try keep the eyes in a straight line. If it was impacted and lost its original position (which can also happen during birth), just to keep the eyes in a horizontal line, it may slightly twist the neck and the head to one or other side.

I not only work with craneosacral biodynamic therapy, I also had many treatments (and as part of the training, you ought to get a lot).
But before that I had many other treatments and personal work since being an adolescent till nowadays: different approaches of kinesiology, osteopathy, bioenergetic treatments, Bach-flowers, different personal therapies that involved meditation, yoga, fire walking, heliotrope breathing, etc… Things got a LOT better, but my head remained quite a delicate place to work with.

There is a difference between living with the post-traumatic effects of a physical accident and/or an emotional trauma, or living without this weight. It’s an existing weight in the system, and it’s incomparable.

Without this weight those areas of the body which were like “checked out” from the system return, start to breath and communicate with the whole again.

Even walking in the street feels different: the structure, the whole skeletal “organ” feels like a “rebooted”, “reorganised” system, this time not around the trauma, but around health.

And all that gratefulness and love which accompanies the process when something carried for about 27 years (or more) dissolves: is purely miraculous. It’s sweet.

You can feel the weight you were carrying for so long only when it’s gone…

On the past weekend I closed a cycle. And started a new.

There is no “one size fits all”, everything is personal, and unique in this therapeutical approach. And what is useful for me may not work for you or you simply may not like it.. And it is all right too. You’ll find what fits you the most.

And, as one of my craneosacral biodynamic teachers said, there is hope that something which we carry since so long, that it feels like an eternity, can heal. She said it happened to her.

Now I guess it happened to me as well.

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